By Hedy Khoo

AT 29, this former drug addict has given up hope of living to a ripe old age.

He had injected himself with heroin using a needle which had been used by another addict.

And that person was infected with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).

In June, Rudi (not his real name) found out that he had caught the virus too.

He is among the 382 people diagnosed with HIV in the first 10 months of this year. No cure exists for HIV, which causes Aids, but anti-retroviral drugs can keep the virus at bay and prolong the life span of those infected.

Unlike many other HIV patients, Rudi feels he may not last long, as he has yet to start on any treatment.

He cannot afford the anti-retroviral drugs he needs now.

He admits he has only himself to blame because he had squandered all his money on his illegal drugs.

He was hooked on heroin, among other drugs, and used to share needles with fellow addicts.

'I have lost everything to my drug addiction. My wife, my home, my money, and now my life may soon end,' said Rudi.

'I got high on drugs, but now I am at the lowest point because I got HIV.'

Rudi, who also suffers from asthma, was admitted to a hospital last month when he woke up feeling breathless and had a sharp pain in his abdomen.

He said the doctors told him he had a stomach ulcer, as well as a weakened immune system.

'I feel as if I am a dying old man. Every day I feel sick and weak,' said Rudi, who earns $500 a month working part-time as a sound and lighting man for a friend's company.

'In the past I could work all day, but now, after just three hours of work, my whole body aches and I cannot breathe very well.

'I feel exhausted all the time.'

His mother and step-father who live in Johor are aware of his condition, but cannot do much to help him as they are financially strapped and ill themselves.

Rudi said he was jailed for taking heroin last year.

In June this year, he underwent HIV testing and discovered he was infected.

Rudi does not know exactly when he was infected, but thinks it must have been in the last 10 years when he experimented with all kinds of drugs, including heroin.

'I used to share needles with my friends who were also addicts and recently I learnt that some of them are also infected,' he said.

Rudi was released from jail two months ago, but is haunted by his past every day.

He said he cannot visit his mother in Johor as he needs to get permission from the Central Narcotics Bureau to travel.

(Page 1 of 2)