Sept 15 - DESIREE, 16, is a pretty, effervescent teen with leadership qualities.
She was thrilled when she became president of the student leaders at her school and was tasked with organising the orientation programme for newbies.
But things did not follow the clockwork precision she expected and last-minute reshuffling of programmes took place.
She said: 'I'm a perfectionist. I felt very stressed. I thought the whole thing was a flop, although the teachers praised the effort.'
ST: Paul Eric Roca
Despondent, she felt unable to face her classmates or teachers and started to skip school.
As she isolated herself, her mind and emotions became more disturbed. She started hearing a voice which told her to jump off a building. 'It was a man's voice, and he talked all the time. I suspect it was Satan,' she said.
She attempted suicide by taking an overdose of gastric pills - because that was all she could find at home. Then she panicked and told her mother, who took her to hospital.
Doctors there suggested treatment at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), but the thought scared her. So she simply went home.
A few days later, she made a second suicide attempt - this time drinking insecticide. Again, she told her mother.
She said she didn't really want to die, but was driven to it by 'the voice'.
This time her elder sister, a biochemist, persuaded her to go to the IMH. She did not admit to her sister that she was hearing voices, for fear of being labelled 'crazy'.
Desiree was admitted to the subsidised ward because it cost less.
'The experience was scary. I didn't feel safe. The people there, they talked to me, but there was no link. I say something and they say something totally different. Or they would hit me.
'It was very scary and I cried and cried. I couldn't stand it.'
Her parents moved her to a private ward. Desiree found this better and quieter. 'Nurses there pay more attention to you. It had facilities like a hotel and I could rest,' she said.
After a month, she was discharged, no longer plagued by 'the voice'.
But recovery was not immediate or smooth sailing. 'I was temperamental and would scold and scream at my family. They didn't know what to do and were fed-up with me. Someone had to be with me 24/7 in case I tried to commit suicide again.'
Her pastor at church and form teacher were also towers of strength. She now appreciates their love and care.
Desiree is slowly putting back together the pieces of her life. Medication keeps her symptoms under control. She's back at school and hopes to graduate this year with enough A grades to qualify for polytechnic.
'I'm happy because nobody's controlling my mind anymore. Before, I would cry every day. Now I feel happier. I play badminton. I'm training to play for the school.
'I want to take up more activities, and I want to lose weight,' said the slightly chubby teenager.
