MR SHUKOR Kadim, 35, always gets pensive when he watches Extreme Makeover.
'I always dream I would be selected for the programme,' he says of the American reality TV show where ordinary folk get to reinvent themselves through drastic plastic surgery, punishing exercise regimes and a sparkling new wardrobe in Hollywood.
Tinseltown, however, is just a mirage. His reality is a 187kg body, unemployment and a trapped existence in a four-room Jurong East HDB flat which he shares with his elderly parents.
While he tries to remain upbeat, he confesses that he sometimes cries himself to sleep at night thinking about marriage, mobility and a normal life.
The youngest of four children of a retired labourer and a housewife, he has been fighting weight issues for most of his life.
'I don't know why I'm like that. My brothers and sisters are of normal size. I really don't eat all that much but after I turned 12, I just kept putting on weight. I even put on weight during the Muslim fasting month,' claims the former logistics planning supervisor who is 1.58m tall.
Pills, massages and slimming sessions over the last two decades failed to stop the onslaught of unwanted kilos.
Things came to a head one day in 2004 when Mr Shukor - then weighing a massive 250kg - had difficulty breathing while at home. His elder sister called for an ambulance.
'The medics all scratched their heads when they saw me. They called the fire department which sent over several firemen,' he recalls.
It took nearly 10 men more than half an hour to haul him in an improvised stretcher from his second-storey flat into the ambulance which ferried him to Alexandra Hospital.
'Those people were my angels; they saved my life,' says the soft-spoken, baby-faced man.
Doctors in Alexandra Hospital found that besides a sedentary lifestyle and a penchant for fatty and oily food, he had hypothyroidism, a disease caused by insufficient production of the thyroid hormone by the thyroid gland.
Among other symptoms, many patients with hypothyroidism have a low metabolic rate which makes them susceptible to weight gain.
He was put on a very low-calorie diet and lost about 55kg in 12 weeks.
He later underwent lapband surgery, a procedure where a band is inserted through keyhole surgery and tied around the stomach to reduce its capacity.
His joy at his miraculous weight loss, however, was short-lived. The logistics company where he had worked for nearly eight years terminated his services while he was on unpaid medical leave.
He has not been able to find another job since.
'I started out as a document sorter, but became a planning supervisor with four people working under me. I was earning only $930 but I was happy because I loved my job. I don't know why they did this to me,' he says.
Tears start rolling copiously down his cheeks.
'You know, my cab fare to go to work each month came up to more than $400 but I didn't mind. I had enough to pay for some household expenses, I don't smoke, I am single, but now...,' he trails off, voice breaking.
Mr Shukor - who has an NTC-3 certificate in machining - has written scores of job application letters and approached the South West Community Development Council (CDC) for help.
'I am good with the computer, I can do data input. I had only one call last year, and they asked if I was interested in a window installation job.
'In my condition, how can I do that sort of work?' says Mr Shukor, who now freelances as a T-shirt designer. In a good month, he can make more than $1,000, but there are months when he earns nothing.
He adds: 'The CDC has asked me if my family needs assistance, but I don't want charity. I just want a job; I want to work.'
Both his own and his father's Medisave accounts have been wiped out by his treatments. His current financial situation does not allow him to continue seeking treatment.
'I spend most of my time working on T-shirt designs on the computer,' says Mr Shukor, whose last outing was to VivoCity on New Year's Eve three months ago.
He smiles sadly.
'I don't know what else to do. I want to go for further treatment, get better, get married - but how can I when I don't even have a job?'
