SOME fat folk cope with their size by retreating into a shell.

Others like church workercum- actress Lucilla Teoh confront it head on.

In 1997, she took on the role of San San in Eric Khoo's 12 Storeys. In the drama - Singapore's first to premiere at the Cannes Film Festival - she earned plaudits for her portrayal of a lonely woman driven to the brink of suicide by her mother who calls her a fat pig and who won't stop taunting her about her size.

The next year, she took to the stage with another bigsize actress, Norleena Salim, in a play called Fatty-tude.

In a series of sketches, they grappled with prejudices faced by fat people - a group often stereotyped as lazy, stupid, greedy and "downright sickening to look at".

With aplomb, they repeated fat jokes such as: "If ever there's an oil crisis, she's the next Brunei."

Of the play, she says: "We were not lobbying for fat acceptance. But we wanted to say, 'Whatever size you are, you have to be proud of what you are or what you can be.'"

Although the play was cathartic, rehearsals sometimes brought on tears.

"It brought back memories of how people can be hurtful," says Miss Teoh, 45, who remembers parents telling their children to laugh at her when she was a child.

The fat jokes have since died down. Miss Teoh, who used to weigh about 120kg, is now 80kg after undergoing lap-band surgery in December 2005.

She says of her new figure: "People react more positively to you. When you're fat, you're invisible. They ignore you or wish you would go away."

She remembers salesgirls who would ignore her when she walked into boutiques.

"You can literally see the thought bubble above their heads. ''Let's not waste time on her. She's not going to buy because she won't be able to fit into any of our clothes."

She remembers people thought she wasn't very bright. "They talk to you really slowly," says the former teacher who has a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature from the National University of Singapore and a Master in Fine Arts from Queensland University of Technology in Australia. She is currently in a Master of Divinity Programme at Trinity Theological College in Singapore.

Fortunately, the Christian has her faith and a loving circle of family and friends to help her cultivate a positive self-image.

"I learnt to embrace myself. Sure, there were niggling doubts, like, 'Would that cute guy have asked me out if I were thinner?' But they didn't last long," says Miss Teoh who has had her share of relationships, including one that lasted three years. She is now single.

An only child, she says both her late parents were large. "My family loved food, it was one of our love languages. Everyone was a good cook. I enjoyed my food and didn't think too much about it. My size didn't stop me from doing things like travelling and trekking," she says.

However, she had a series of scares when she hit 40. Her blood sugar levels "went way out of control".

"Doctors told me I had to lose weight, and lose it fast if I didn't want all my organs failing," she says.

This story was first published in The Straits Times on Mar 29, 2008.