"That's the treachery of the condition. You mistake mania for recovery as the episode of semblance of health and liveliness.
Ms Choo Kah Ying, a freelance writer and editor, was diagnosed with the brain disorder when she was 19.
The 37-year-old said: 'I wanted to be an academic but I didn't go on to do that or get a PhD because of my bipolar disorder. My dreams were interrupted.'
She was in her second year of university in Australia when she found herself struggling with her studies and feeling insecure about her relationship with her then-boyfriend.
She said: 'The initial trigger was his going to Los Angeles. I panicked when he was out of reach.
'At school, I couldn't focus. I'd prided myself on being a good student.'
Things came to a head a few months later when she tried to hang herself at her then-boyfriend's place. She failed but he saw the rope marks on her neck and called her parents.
Ms Choo's parents then sent her to a psychiatrist who diagnosed her as bipolar and put her on lithium treatment, one of the most common drugs for bipolar disorder.
Lithium helps reduce the severity and frequency of mania as well as relieves bipolar depression.
Ms Choo did not respond well to the three-month treatment and experienced side effects like grogginess and a dry mouth.
She said: 'I was an uncooperative patient. I'd show up at the psychiatrist's and not say anything.'
She stopped taking lithium after three months as her mood swung towards mania.
Symptoms of manic states in bipolar patients include restlessness, increased energy, euphoric mood, racing thoughts and provocative behaviour.
Ms Choo described her manic episodes as feeling like James Brown's song, I Feel Good, all the time.
She said: 'That's the treachery of the condition. You mistake mania for recovery as the episode has semblance of health and liveliness.'
After graduation, she moved to Los Angeles. While there and under the influence of mania, she indulged in risky behaviour like having one-night stands, dancing all night at parties and clubs and shopping even when she was broke.
Then she found out she was pregnant. After giving birth to her son in 1996, she suffered severe post-partum depression.
Her mother flew over to Los Angeles to help her look after the baby and to persuade her to see a psychiatrist.
Ms Choo said: 'The psychiatrist told me 'I know you really want to take care of your baby but if you want to take care of him long-term, you should be on medication'.'
She was prescribed a cocktail of sleeping pills, anti-depressants and mood stabilisers.
The boy, now 12, is autistic. But he marked the turning point in Ms Choo's life.
She said: 'He was my anchor back then and he's still the reason I get out of bed regardless of how I feel.'
She started popping five mood stabilising pills every day until 2005. However, she began cutting back on her medication when she tried to buy health insurance and was told she was 'medically uninsurable'.
Later that year, she returned to Singapore with her son. By then, she had cut down her medication to half a pill every other day.
She said: 'Every time I cut down on my medication, I'd watch for symptoms. It's important not to do it alone and to enlist the help of loved ones.'
Keeping busy with work and settling back into Singapore led Ms Choo to forget her pills. Soon she had been off them for a year.
Meanwhile, she found time to pen a book about her experience entitled Five Little White Pills... And Then There Were None: A Journey From Manic Depression To Recovery.
Asked how she has managed to keep her condition under control without medication, she said: 'I don't take medicine anymore because I have a disciplined lifestyle.
'I exercise for an hour every day and I meditate.'
Ms Choo's book Five Little White Pills... is available at major bookstores at $16.
