Q: Why is it important to talk about death?

Dr Shaw: As we face the end of life, we start to think about our own lives - whether we've been successful, people we've upset, people we've loved. We want to say thank you, sorry. We want to make peace, forgive. If we keep pretending life will go on, we will end up with regrets.

This applies as much to the patient as to his family. We want to leave memories, stories and legacies. We want to give meaning to our lives.

Q: What, in your opinion, is a good death?

Dr Shaw: Death is never good, but it is inevitable. Everyone deals with death differently. Some people want to fight to the very end, trying all sorts of medication and treatments until the very last day.

Others want to be treated not as sick people on a deathbed, but to live life as normally as possible the way they used to.

A patient recently told me she wanted to leave the hospital, eat all her favourite foods, and spend all her money.

For some, death can be a relief. This does not mean we hasten their death, but family members need to recognise that they should not add to the patient's suffering by imposing what they think is good for the patient, such as more medication or forcing them to eat.

A good death would be one with as little pain and discomfort as possible.

Q: If death is a relief for some, what about euthanasia?

Dr Shaw: I am opposed to it. Euthanasia is doing something with the intention to kill, and must not be confused with withdrawing futile treatments at the end of one's life.

There is a real danger in a society that condones euthanasia because it devalues life.

It also changes the relationship between patient and doctor, which is based on trust. Doctors are healers who are supposed to cure, prolong life, and relieve suffering, certainly not to kill.

I am abhorrent to the idea of being asked to kill someone.

This story was first published in The New Paper on Nov 3, 2008